Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Feel the Pain...HAWMC 18

Open  a  Book.  Choose  a  book  and  open  it  to  a  random  page  and  point  to  a  phrase.   Use  that  phrase  to  get  you  writing  today.  Free  write  for  15-­‐20  without  stopping. 

This morning I picked up the book " Words of Wisdom for Women" by Rachel Snyder. My friend and I are always sharing books. Recently she gave me this book and said "This is not the type of book you sit and read it cover to cover. Just pick it up and read a passage. That is what I have been doing the past few weeks. 

This morning it opened to FEEL  - "Feel the pain , feel the joy , until you feel you will evaporate." 

Well on this cancer journey I must admit I have felt the pain. Emotional pain from hearing the words you have cancer and you need chemotherapy. Emotional pain from seeing your family and friends worry about you. Emotional pain from getting the phone call where your doctor says "I got the results of your CT back - we found two spots on your spleen and liver". Emotional pain from watching your hair fall out. Emotional pain from looking in the mirror and not recognizing who you are. Pain from worrying about a recurrence. 

And oh there is lots of physical pain too from the surgeries, from the neuropathy, from the Neulasta shots, scalp pain from loosing your hair and pain getting up out of bed. 

But there is Joy in hearing "There is no evidence of disease". Joy in the first day you go out without a scarf or wig. Joy when you stay awake all day!  And of course Joy in  experiencing the special occasions you never thought you would experience- a daughter's weddings, a son's graduation, the birth of a grandson and trips to places you always wanted to visit ( loved Switzerland and Alaska) . And of course the Joy of time.

I hope you find lots of Joy today!

Every Day is a Blessing!

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