Wednesday, June 10, 2020

"Your Caregiver Relationship Contract" - a Book Review

In January, I met with my fellow New Jerseyan, friend and caregiver consultant, Debra Hallisey. Debra founded AD-VO-CATE FOR MOM AND DAD, LLC and her website, https://advocateformomanddad.com/ has a wealth of information about various topics including finances, caregiving support and healthcare. As we ate, we discussed how our families were doing and the relationship that cancer caregivers have with their loved ones.

As we finished our meal Debra gave me a copy of her latest book, Your Caregiver Relationship Contract. I started to read the book and put it aside due to other commitments. Then the world became all things COVID -19. 

A few days ago I picked up the book again and finished reading it. What a helpful book! If you are a family member or friend taking care of an elder parent or relative this book can assist you in developing a contract and also in having those difficult conversations that come with being a caregiver. One point that Debra makes early on in the book when talking about making a contract is the need to "co-create" a contract that works for both you and your parent.

There are chapters that cover life changes, how this time can be an emotional journey, how to have those hard conversations, setting boundaries, asking for help and where to find support for yourself as a caregiver. At the end of each chapter there are exercises that help you put into practice what you learned in each chapter.

These following points stood out as I read the book.

Don't parent your parent.

The changes you may be asking your parent to make are emotional for you and for them.

Carees and caregivers alike must learn to ask for and say "yes" to help. 

You will also find a helpful list of resources at the end of the book.

If you are a caregiver for an elder parent or even if you are a caregiver of someone with a chronic illness Your Caregiver Relationship Contract is an excellent source of information. The book is available on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Your-Caregiver-Relationship-Contract-expectations/dp/0578543834 .


Thanks Debra for providing me a copy and I look forward to another meal together in the not so distant future.
Dee
Every day is a blessing!



2 comments:

Debra said...

Thank you Dee for reading the book. I am thrilled you found it valuable and feel you can recommend it to other caregivers.

Unknown said...

Thank you, Dee, for this book recommendation. I like the highlights from the book. It sounds like it might be good for other types of caregivers. The caregiver role is often overlooked, but essential, as many of us have experienced. Thank you for taking the time to formulate this review. I have a friend with stage IV ovarian for over 15 years.