Thinking about Rest

Life has gotten busy the past few weeks and I realized that I have not posted to this blog in way too long.

Another survivor, Christine "Cissy" White, shared a blog post she wrote on LinkedIn using a writing prompt from Laura Davis. I loved Cissy's post. I thought maybe that was just what I need, a prompt to spark my writing.I decided to use the same prompt Cissy used.

 

Rest is not always easy.

At the beginning of each year I look at what advocacy activities I have planned for the year ahead and decide what large projects I would continue with. I ask myself if the activity brings me joy.  I know I sound like Marie Kondo and her advice about getting rid of clutter. For me that process worked well until recently. I started receiving special requests to help with clinical trial design, be a part of an advisory board and  review grants. As a cancer research advocate in what is considered a rare cancer,  I felt compelled to be involved in these opportunities. If I said "No" I would miss out on sharing my story and raising the issues that are important for women with gynecologic cancers. Was I letting myself and those who lost their lives to ovarian cancer down by not participating?  

Since Covid many events, symposiums, presentations were held virtually.The fact that travel costs were non-existent took funding my trips out of the decision making process. This just made things harder since I could take part from home. I knew I couldn't say yes to everything or I would burn out. I needed to look after myself.

Beginning in 2022, I started blocking out weeks at a time for family and friends.  I learned to turn down opportunities. But I did more than that. I decided to look at these opportunities as not opportunities for myself but for others. Every time I turned down an opportunity, I recommended another advocate or survivor who could step into that role. It is important that we advocates support each other. Now I can really rest and know that other patient/survivor voices are being heard.

When I rest... I feel calmer. I have more energy to do the advocacy work I am passionate about and I have time for my family and hobbies. 

Sometimes when I rest, I sketch or paint.

 

Dee

Every Day is a Blessing!

 

I Finally learned to Say No - HAWMC

HAWMC 16 Learned  the  Hard  Way - What is a lesson you learned the hard way. Write about it for 15  today. 

The lesson that took me the longest to learn was how to say No. It was not until I was diagnosed with cancer did I really learn to say No! 

Sure I would try to say no before that but it really didn't take much to twist my arm to get me to volunteer for something. So tell me what a good job I would do or that no one else volunteered and our kids wouldn't have a troop and I caved. So I was a girl scout leader, a CCD teacher, sang in the choir, chaired a Middle States Accreditation committee, took on an extra class and taught a class on internet safety to parents. Now don't get me wrong, those were not bad things to volunteer for but at the time it really did add stress and took time away from my family. 

But once I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and the future was so unsure, time with family and friends became more important.  It was easier to say NO when I did not know if I would be physically able to help out. I began volunteering for things I was really interested. And  in the process learned more about myself. I still volunteer and have still had my arm twisted once or twice. And by really loving the things I volunteer for makes me a more dedicated volunteer. 

And you know what I am actually considering singing in the choir again at my new church. La la la....

Dee

Every Day is a Blessing!