Showing posts with label caregiver. Show all posts
Showing posts with label caregiver. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

"Your Caregiver Relationship Contract" - a Book Review

In January, I met with my fellow New Jerseyan, friend and caregiver consultant, Debra Hallisey. Debra founded AD-VO-CATE FOR MOM AND DAD, LLC and her website, https://advocateformomanddad.com/ has a wealth of information about various topics including finances, caregiving support and healthcare. As we ate, we discussed how our families were doing and the relationship that cancer caregivers have with their loved ones.

As we finished our meal Debra gave me a copy of her latest book, Your Caregiver Relationship Contract. I started to read the book and put it aside due to other commitments. Then the world became all things COVID -19. 

A few days ago I picked up the book again and finished reading it. What a helpful book! If you are a family member or friend taking care of an elder parent or relative this book can assist you in developing a contract and also in having those difficult conversations that come with being a caregiver. One point that Debra makes early on in the book when talking about making a contract is the need to "co-create" a contract that works for both you and your parent.

There are chapters that cover life changes, how this time can be an emotional journey, how to have those hard conversations, setting boundaries, asking for help and where to find support for yourself as a caregiver. At the end of each chapter there are exercises that help you put into practice what you learned in each chapter.

These following points stood out as I read the book.

Don't parent your parent.

The changes you may be asking your parent to make are emotional for you and for them.

Carees and caregivers alike must learn to ask for and say "yes" to help. 

You will also find a helpful list of resources at the end of the book.

If you are a caregiver for an elder parent or even if you are a caregiver of someone with a chronic illness Your Caregiver Relationship Contract is an excellent source of information. The book is available on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Your-Caregiver-Relationship-Contract-expectations/dp/0578543834 .


Thanks Debra for providing me a copy and I look forward to another meal together in the not so distant future.
Dee
Every day is a blessing!



Monday, June 23, 2014

Sessions Older Cancer Survivors and Caregivers – Cancer Survivorship Research Conference Part 2


There were a number of concurrent sessions taking place at the Cancer Survivorship Research Conference so it was difficult for me to decide which ones to attend in person. I will share with you information from the Improving Health and Health care  of Older Americans and Caring for the Caregivers which I found most interesting. .

Improving Health and Healthcare of Older Americans

In this session I learned from Heidi Klein, MD that older Americans ( >65 years of age) was the largest group ( 53%) of cancer survivors. But they are also the group to which we know very little about.  Why? Older adults are underrepresented in clinical trials because many times the age group is ineligible due to the way many trial protocols are written. Currently,  researchers are unsure if the standard of care will apply for those >65 years of age. There is a relatively young specialty called Geriatric Oncology and a group specifically doing research in this area called the Cancer and Aging Research Group.

Dr Supriya Mohile spoke about using the Geriatric Assessment to aid in cancer treatment decision making and to predict which patients will experience acute toxicity of chemotherapy . The geriatric assessment includes functionality, physical performance, cognition, nutrition, social support , etc.  Dr Mohile stated that patients with cancer have had a higher prevalence of geriatric issues. There has been very little research on survivorship issues with the older adult. They do know that with chemotherapy older adults have more neuropathy which leads to more falls.

Dr. Ed McAuley spoke about physical activity interventions and that the median age of those diagnosed with cancer is 65 years. He also stated that only 10% of those 65 years of age and over are meeting physical activity guidelines. Many believe walking is enough but strength training is important too.  Physical activity also has an impact on cardiovascular function. In a study of breast cancer patients, researchers found that the more physical activity patients undertook the less fatigue the patients experienced and indirectly the less depression the patients felt.

Albert Sui , MD explained that longevity is increasing due to better public health, less smoking and cleaner water. With the longevity though come and increase in chronic conditions which cancer patients have to deal with. It was stated repeatedly that doctors need to consider comorbitity issues when treating older cancer patients. 

Caring for the Caregiver

This session began with a presentation by Sharon Manne, PhD discussing Coupled Focused Psychological Interventions for Cancer Patients. Cancer is a family and couple stressor. Her work compared support group interventions for couples( breast cancer dx)  versus an enhanced couple focus intervention. In this study, there was less work absenteeism (one outcome of the study) by the partner in the enhanced couple focused group. They also found the higher the stage at diagnosis the higher the spouse/ partner stress. In a study of prostate cancer patient/ couples, researchers found that the more the patient held back from discussing issues with their partner the lower levels of well-being the partner felt.  

Allison Applebaum, PhD from the Center for the Study of Cancer Caregivers at Memorial Sloan Kettering explained that cancer caregivers are also cancer survivors (NCI definition). Caregivers are at agreater risk for distress and have anxiety regarding recurrences even up to 5 years later so it is important that caregivers learn to manage their stress.

Patricia Griffiths, PhD a gerontologist  spoke about Caregiving Dyads. There is currently a dementia home tele-health model program used by the VA. Programs like this can be modified to reflect survivorship concerns and expanded to Google chats ( which I learned are HIPAA compliant).

Next up post - Survivorship Guidelines.

Dee Every Day is a Blessing!




Saturday, February 18, 2012

"In sickness and in health"

The true test of any relationship is when one of the individuals becomes ill. In the past seven years, I have had two major abdominal surgeries, 15 chemo treatments, a heart catheterization, 1 MRI, 3 PET scans, 15 CT scans , and countless blood tests and port flushes. Nick has been there every step of the way.

In the course of our marriage Nick has been ill and in the hospital one time, thirteen years ago. During the past week I have been the one making the trips to the hospital, eating the cafeteria food, making the insurance phone calls, keeping family and friends up-to-date on how things were going. And when I came home I was the one taking care of things around the house from taking care of the dogs to paying bills to putting out the garbage and recycling. I have a new found understanding of what the past seven years has been like for Nick. It has been emotionally and physically exhausting but I would not want to do or be anywhere else except here by his side every step of the way.
Dee
Every Day is a Blessing!