The Washington Post recently released an interview with Susan Gubar, ovarian cancer survivor and literary scholar. Susan wrote the book Memoir of a Debulked Women, which I read a number of years ago, as well as a number of New York Times articles about her cancer experience. This article was titled Survivor reflects on living with cancer and the ambiguity of remission (Nov 11,2023). As I read the article on my phone I thought of the similarities of our experiences. Susan is now 15 years out from her diagnosis.
When asked about remission she called remission the sword of Damocles. My goodness that is so true.
She then went on to share how she has been on a drug holiday for the past few years and her Remission? has become a Remission! . Why the switch to an exclamation point? It was because of her gratitude for the unanticipated time with her family. I never thought of Remission! before because for so long I was waiting for the "other shoe to drop". It took me a few years to work through those emotions of going from a person who may have five years of survival( The 5 year survival rate for women diagnosed with late stage ovarian cancer is 30%) to being a ten year survivor and then a fifteen year survivor and counting.
Since I finished treatment for a recurrence on my liver and spleen fourteen years ago, it really has been just that - a time of ! . I have seen my son marry, welcomed two beautiful grandsons into the world and spent time with my husband traveling - Alaska, the National Parks, Fiji, New Zealand,Australia, England. I even got to visit a number of states on my way to visiting all 50 states.
The extra time for me has also meant using the time for advocacy. It is my way of showing gratitude to my team of physicians and nurses at Rutgers Cancer Institute of New Jersey, to the researchers working to cure gynecologic cancers and also a way of giving back to my teal sister community for their support.
The next question Susan was asked dealt with anxiety. She spoke about "scanxiety" - It is a real thing by the way. Her way to handle it is with distractions - new recipes a good book etc. Like Susan, even after eighteen years of yearly check-ups and CA-125 testing, in the two weeks before testing , my world becomes one of doubt and anxiety for what may lie ahead. For those who may not remember, I had a normal CA-125 (17) and felt good when I actually had lesions on my liver and spleen. So it is no wonder why even if I feel good, I have a feeling of trepidation every September. Now though, my test results appear quickly in my portal. No more waiting days to hear the results. My phone will show a text that there is a new result uploaded to MyChart. I am on reading the results in a matter of minutes. That is a good change since I was first diagnosed.
If you get a chance read the article to get a better understanding how survivors like Susan and I deal with surviving a cancer diagnosis.
Lastly, I want to once again say how grateful I am for the excellent care I received and still receive at the Rutgers Cancer Institute of New Jersey.
Happy Thanksgiving !
