The Importance of Obstacles - 18 Years Later

For the past month or so, I have been on the road traveling and helping family move. As I was catching up on e-mail, I read one from Laura Davis which included writing prompts. I found the perfect prompt for this blog post.

The Importance of Obstacles

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which (s)he has overcome.” —Booker T. Washington 

Make a list of the obstacles you have overcome in life. Choose one to write about in detail.

____________

It was 2005 and I was teaching AP computer science, my grown children, my husband and I were doing well. I was a wife, mother, sister, aunt and friend. These last roles remain but my other "job" description has change due to one - dare I say huge - obstacle that entered my life on July 29, 2005. 

I woke up from surgery to learn I had stage 3 high grade serous ovarian cancer. Well, that was earth shattering news to say the least. I call it my weak in the knees period of my life - a feeling of not knowing how long or what my future held. 

My gynecologic oncologist told me she would do everything to make me well and together we put together a plan. But I will be honest, I took to Dr Google and read everything I could about ovarian cancer. I bought books and read journal articles. I'm happy that I have always loved science because it came in handy when I was learning about a subject I never thought I'd need to know about. I learned that at stage 3,  I had a 30% chance of surviving 5 years. Holy Cow, those were not good odds. I had just turned 50 years of age and I might not make it to 55. Everything changed!  I refused to buy a winter coat that year because I thought it would be a waste of money. I couldn't plan the next two weeks forget about long term plans. 

There were a few different ways I could overcome this obstacle. I considered and chose to participate in a Phase 1 clinical trial. I researched the use of selenium with carboplatin and taxol. It  meant more and longer days at my cancer center. My husband and children supported my participation in the trial and along with family members and friends rallied around me. They were ready to help at a moment's notice with meals, walking the dog and keeping my spirits up.

I experienced many side effects during treatment. The duo of carboplatin and paclitaxel were tough on me. There was bone pain and I lost my hair. I dealt with neuropathy, from  tingling in my toes to where it felt like they were being stabbed by a knife. Instant menopause and subsequent hot flashes meant putting on sweaters, taking then off 10 minutes later.   Then there was the constipation and nausea. The drugs for nausea actually kept me from vomiting which was the goal and I am thankful they worked. Each of the nine cycles brought three days of unbelievable fatigue. I was unable to get out of bed. I didn't have the strength to hold up a book or magazine and even if I could hold them up, I was unable to concentrate on what I read. At one point I wanted to stop. The obstacle was too large.

In all those trips to the cancer center,  I had not meet another women with ovarian cancer. I needed to hear from a long term survivor. I reach out to Cancer Hope Network and spoke to a woman who was a five year survivor.  She gave me hope. I started making connections with other women through Kaleidoscope of Hope Ovarian Cancer Foundation and other ovarian cancer foundations in my state. Those connections continue to be priceless to me.

When I needed a PET scan to determine if the lesions on my liver were cancer I faced another type of fight. Arguing for a scan when you are in the midst of chemo is a challenge.  At the time PET scans were only approved for lung cancer patients not ovarian cancer patients. I eventually had the PET scan which showed the lesions were not cancerous and I was finished with treatment.

At a follow up visit in the Spring of 2006, my gyn onc told me about the LiveStrong Survivors Summit being held 6 months later. I applied and was accepted. That Summit empowered me and gave me skills to further overcome the obstacle. I became a cancer advocate.

Today one recurrence, countless CA-125 blood tests and 25 + CT scans later,  I am  celebrating 18 years as a survivor. I took my biggest obstacle and turned it into catalyst to become an ovarian cancer research advocate. 

I co-founded the #gyncsm (gyn cancer socila media) community on Twitter, wrote a book with my Twitter friend, Dr Don Dizon. I am a member of my cancer center's Scientific Review Board and serve on the NCI's Ovarian Cancer Task Force. I've presented at the ASCO and SGO Annual Meetings and  I've received a number of advocacy awards. One of the activities I enjoy the most is offering peer support to women diagnosed with ovarian cancer through Cancer Hope Network.

I still worry about a recurrence, two toes are still numb from neuropathy, and I have learned to not multi-task otherwise chemo - brain rears it's ugly head. But I am here living my life.

In no way am I saying that my experience was a "gift".  Instead I am saying that my cancer diagnosis , my obstacle had a tremendous impact on my life - both bad and good.

I am sure without this obstacle, my life would have been different. I wonder how different. Would we have ever moved to a different town, would I have ever done agility with my dog, would I have ever traveled and been invited to speak?  Would I have supported other women in the ways I have? Maybe not. 

I am truly blessed to  have been treated by the skilled gyn oncs at the Rutgers Cancer Institute of New Jersey and to have the unending support of a dear husband, children, grandchildren, family and friends. Thanks everyone!

Dee

Every Day is a Blessing!