On that day I was thinking of my friend S. W. whose funeral
I attended the week before. I was thinking of her husband and her two teenage
daughters. And I was feeling sad for the friend that I had lost. And I was a
bit angry too. I started to wonder if it
was worth it spending time working on friendships that are ending so quickly.
S.W. and I were more than two women who had ovarian
cancer and were treated by the same gynecologic oncologist. Sure that is how we met but with time and
effort a deep friendship evolved. It wasn’t easy. We both had family and
advocacy commitments. She had work commitments and treatments. Yet we still
made a point of checking in with each other on Facebook. And we made a effort to carve out time to have
lunch with each other. We worried about each other during super storm
Sandy. We celebrated the new car she
bought and she shared with me how she hoped she would put lots of miles on that
car. We talked about the college tours she
was taking with her daughter and how wonderful our husbands were. We were more
than just two women with cancer. We were friends.
Then I started to think about the friends whose lives were
lost due to ovarian cancer. There was Sharon who had the best sense of humor.
She would have made a great stand up comedian. And then there was Rita. We used
to stand outside after our support group and discuss college football never
realizing how much time had passed. I
would meet Pam for dinner before our support group and she shared her love of
Jimmy Buffet and traveling. One year we both went on cruises to Alaska and when
she came back she gave me the best tips on what to see and clothes to
bring. There was Kim who loved
wrestling. I still laugh when Fandago shows up for a WWE match on TV as I
remember how she loved how he pronounces his name - “Faaaan dangggggg OOOOOO”. There was Deidre who helped me decorate a table
for a Tea. I never asked her to help but she just jumped right in and brought
things to add to the design. I could go
on and tell you about Gail, Ellen, Denise, Cindy, Jayne , Nicole , Courtney and
Shirley. All of these women were special to me. They were special for their
faith, courage and talents. I am not sure if our paths would have crossed if it
were not for ovarian cancer .
One of the most difficult parts of being a cancer survivor
is losing others diagnosed with the same disease. I‘ll be honest with you it
hurts and it makes you very aware of your own mortality. But when I stop and
think I realize that my life has been made richer because of these friendships.
Dee Sparacio
Every Day is a Blessing!
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