Monday, May 13, 2013

My Love / Hate Relationship with Mother's Day

My mother passed away due to a brain tumor when I was very young. When I was in elementary school I didn’t like Mother’s Day at all. I hated art class before this particular holiday. Why? Because we were always told to make Mother’s Day cards for our mother’s. I felt sad and different. I would make cards for my Aunt Dora who I loved and treated me like a daughter. As I got older and would give Aunt Dora flowers and Hallmark cards with the sentiment “ You are like a mother to me” she would thank me and then say but I am not really a mother. Yeah, I knew that but she was the next best thing. When she passed in 2011 I felt like I had lost my mother all over again. 

After I met Nick I gained another woman into my life who was like a mother to me, my mother-in-law, Nettie. She welcomed me into her family and I loved shopping with her, clothes or food it really didn’t matter. She even came with me as I picked out my wedding gown. We grew closer through the years as I had children and she shared her words of wisdom on child rearing with me. She did a great job raising 5 children - 4 boys and 1 girl into caring, hard working adults.We visited her yesterday and even though she was not sure who I was, she showed sparks of the Nettie I once knew when she called my grandson Mr Apple Cheeks. 

I really didn’t enjoy Mother’s Day until I myself had children. I enjoyed being a mom and being pampered on this special day. I  loved my kid’s handmade cards. As they got older, the cards became “mushy” Hallmark cards. Some made me laugh and all of them brought tears to my eye. Now they live out of state and they send cards and call. 

But Mother’s Day got better in May of 2012. When I got the first card in the mail addressed to Grandma Dee. That card was from JT,  my daughter’s son. This grandmother job is lots of fun and I am honored to be a part of my grandson’s life even if we only see him a few times a year due to the distance they live from NJ. 

I still get a bit sad around Mother’s Day.  This year it happened when I posted a photo of my mom from the late 50‘s on my Facebook page.  And again when I looked at a photo of my niece’s son . My sister Roberta would be so proud of the mother my niece has become. And I was sad that breast cancer took her from us before she could feel the joy of being a grandmother. 

But I was also very happy this Mother’s Day as I opened the card from my son which included a beautiful book mark and again when he called. Then there was the text and photo my daughter sent. My grandson eating gnocchi. Now that made me smile and happy to be a Mother/ Grandmother on Mother's Day.

Every Day is a blessing. 

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