My Love / Hate Relationship with Mother's Day

My mother passed away due to a brain tumor when I was very young. When I was in elementary school I didn’t like Mother’s Day at all. I hated art class before this particular holiday. Why? Because we were always told to make Mother’s Day cards for our mother’s. I felt sad and different. I would make cards for my Aunt Dora who I loved and treated me like a daughter. As I got older and would give Aunt Dora flowers and Hallmark cards with the sentiment “ You are like a mother to me” she would thank me and then say but I am not really a mother. Yeah, I knew that but she was the next best thing. When she passed in 2011 I felt like I had lost my mother all over again. 

After I met Nick I gained another woman into my life who was like a mother to me, my mother-in-law, Nettie. She welcomed me into her family and I loved shopping with her, clothes or food it really didn’t matter. She even came with me as I picked out my wedding gown. We grew closer through the years as I had children and she shared her words of wisdom on child rearing with me. She did a great job raising 5 children - 4 boys and 1 girl into caring, hard working adults.We visited her yesterday and even though she was not sure who I was, she showed sparks of the Nettie I once knew when she called my grandson Mr Apple Cheeks. 

I really didn’t enjoy Mother’s Day until I myself had children. I enjoyed being a mom and being pampered on this special day. I  loved my kid’s handmade cards. As they got older, the cards became “mushy” Hallmark cards. Some made me laugh and all of them brought tears to my eye. Now they live out of state and they send cards and call. 

But Mother’s Day got better in May of 2012. When I got the first card in the mail addressed to Grandma Dee. That card was from JT,  my daughter’s son. This grandmother job is lots of fun and I am honored to be a part of my grandson’s life even if we only see him a few times a year due to the distance they live from NJ. 

I still get a bit sad around Mother’s Day.  This year it happened when I posted a photo of my mom from the late 50‘s on my Facebook page.  And again when I looked at a photo of my niece’s son . My sister Roberta would be so proud of the mother my niece has become. And I was sad that breast cancer took her from us before she could feel the joy of being a grandmother. 

But I was also very happy this Mother’s Day as I opened the card from my son which included a beautiful book mark and again when he called. Then there was the text and photo my daughter sent. My grandson eating gnocchi. Now that made me smile and happy to be a Mother/ Grandmother on Mother's Day.

Dee

Every Day is a blessing. 

An Old Photo and Roses

Many of my friends on Facebook has been using photo's of their mothers as their profile picture. It is their way of honoring their moms this Mother's Day. My mom passed away when I was very young so I don't have many photographs of the two of us together. When I was looking through old photos for the bulletin boards at Aunt Dora's wake I ran across this photo of my mother and I when I was 2.

I don't even recognize where the photo was taken but I love the expression on my face. Not sure what I was eating but I don't think I liked it very much. I might not remember my mother very well but I know that she is very much a part of who I am.

Today, Nick and I went to the store to get some flowers for the patio. As we were walking around I saw this large display of roses. Flashback once again to when I was little. My father loved roses. He had lined the driveway with mostly red ones. I used to love the smell of them. In all the years we have been married I never even attempted to plant roses. But we have this spot at the back of our home that would be the perfect place for this rosebush.

So this year I'll take a stab at planting the rosebush you see above and hope it grows. I just hope some of my father's rose growing talent rubbed off on me.

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Dee

Every Day is a Blessing! I am blessed to have been a mother, had a mother and had an Aunt who was like a mother to me.

Helen, Dora, & Nettie

It's Mother's Day. Today I thought a lot about these three special women.

Helen was my mother. She passed away at the young age of 42. I was 5 years old. I don't remember her voice but know what she looked like from the many photos I have of her. She had reddish-blonde hair and a great smile. Even when others looked serious in the photo my mother always seemed to be smiling.

Dora is a very special aunt and I was named after her. She is my father's sister and she came to live with us after my mother died. She did everything my mother would have done to raise me. She permed my hair, made sure I did my homework, scolded me, listened to me, passed on her love of the Blessed Mother and taught me how to cook gravy. She taught me that you could work ( she worked at the Board of Beauty Culture for the State of NJ) and raise a family. In June this year she will turn 102 and she is still teaching me things. Just last week she was showing me how to crochet- and correcting me when I caught the wrong stitch.

Nettie is my husband's mother and my mother-in-law. I could not have asked for a better mother -in-law. She has 5 wonderful children and 5 grand children. Nettie loves the Jersey shore, The Daily News and her family. She always wants people to visit longer and of course to eat. She worries about all her children even now when they are adults with families of their own.

These women have given me my smile, my faith and a wonderful husband who helped me raise two fabulous children. Can't ask for better role models. Thanks Helen, Dora and Nettie.

Dee
Every Day is a Blessing! Today I am blessed to be the mother of two fantastic children and mother-in-law of a wonderful and brave son-in-law.